Okay, guys...first off, let
me say you're in a safe place here. Really. Now, having said that,
let me tell you what you're doing wrong in the Christmas gift giving
department.
First off, I know you've
been programmed to believe that we, your wives, partners, mothers of
your children, etc, need jewelry, fancy chocolates, purses. I
know you can't turn on the radio or TV without being bombarded with
commercials for Zales or Jarrod. And, on top of that, you hear the
other guys in the office talking about the new pair of diamond
earrings they bought their wives. You're feelin' the pressure. I
get it. But, this feeling is your first mistake. We'll get to this
later.
Secondly, you wait until the
last possible moment to go shopping. I know right now, you're
wondering why the heck your wife even sent you this to read. You're
wondering why I'm even talking about buying Christmas presents when
you have 40 days left of shopping. You're also wondering if I
included Christmas Eve in that and, yes I sure did. You're sitting
there thinking you have all the time in the world, and why would
anyone even think about buying Christmas gift until at least
mid-December. Well, wrong again fellas. Read on.
So, let's start addressing
these, we'll call them 'areas of concern.'
I know whenever you've
bought your wife jewelry, she's acted genuinely happy. Maybe she
even shed a tear or two. And, she probably was happy. But, guess
what? She probably would have been happier with the shiny new mixer,
vacuum cleaner or even (gasp) a GPS device. Again, I understand that
us wives are not supposed to want appliances or useful type things.
We're supposed to want to be taken care of and given things to look
pretty. But, that's just not reality. We would much rather have
that mixer to whip up some delicious chocolate mint brownies or
pumpkin whoopie pies or homemade pie crust than those earrings,
which, let's face it we'll wear exactly four times (our birthday,
anniversary, your boss' wedding and Christmas) throughout the year.
It's just not practical. And, a new vacuum would definitely be more
useful for getting us ready for our bookclub gals to come over.
Sure, that fancy box of chocolates is nice, but knowing that our
floor is free of any and all wayward Cheerios, leaving us to have a
worry-free evening of discussing Christian Grey and indulging in some
wine and brie makes that vacuum a winner in our book.
I know, you're probably
shaking your head in disbelief at me and you cannot believe what I'm
telling you. You think you are supposed to buy the jewelry and that
it's an insult to get us a new teapot or set of pots and pans, right.
Well, you've just been brainwashed all these years. See, guys, we
are practical. We need practical, we want practical. Our feelings
will not be hurt in the least and our pride will not take a hit to
get a something we can actually use.
Now, I know there are some
women out there who do want the jewelry and would recoil in horror if you gave
them a new Cuisinart. But, chances are, if you're reading this, if
your wife sent you this, she's not that woman. Just give her the
Cusinart.
Now to address your second
folly. Guys, why do you wait until that last moment? It just cannot
be pleasant fighting all that traffic, fighting for a parking spot at
the mall and fighting your way through Sears for the last cashmere
sweater (oh, and you know how we tell you we have to exchange it
because it's the wrong size... Have you seen us wear it later? Nope,
because we were able to get a couple cable knit sweaters and a nice pair
of microfiber gloves with what you spent on one fancy sweater).
I have a better idea for
you. Shop earlier. No, I'm not just talking about starting in
November. I'm talking about starting in January. I'm going to wait
until you come back to consciousness. Are we good? Okay, now really,
you can do it. You are going to be able to get gifts easier, quicker
and for much less money. And, we love it when you save money. If
you tell us that you bought that vacuum with a big ol' rebate, we
will tear up. We will hug you. Most importantly we will brag about
you on Facebook (you may even get a status update dedicated to you).
So, how to you go about
this? Well, first of all, take notes. When your wife mentions
something she'd really like or something that would make her life
easier, remember that. It may seem silly to you but I guarantee if
you present her with a new Crockpot because she mentioned in July how
it would be nice to make homemade meals without turning the house
into an inferno, you will be her hero. Or, if you get her that
composter she' was ogling over in April, she will not forget. So,
make mental notes or literally jot things down (your phones have
excellent notepads just for that).
And, the great thing about
having a running list is that you might just be able to score that
perfect gift in, say, August at a screamin' deal. And, you might not
even have to leave your house. You could stay on the couch, beer in hand, TV inappropriately high in volume continuing to watch whatever sport is in season. Yep, that's right.
You know those couponing
blogs, websites and Facebook pages your wife follows. You can too.
Subscribe to the feeds, get the emails and check the Facebook posts.
You would be surprised at what kind of deals pop up all the time.
My husband missed out on a
cake pop maker for three dollars last year, because he was too prideful to buy
it after I'd mentioned seeing it on a blog. Don't let that happen to you. Just subscribe so she doesn't have to nag you.
Many of these sites are very
specific and will spell out precisely what you need to do to score a
great deal. Take advantage of these deals to buy early, save a bunch
and look like a rockstar. Think about how surprised your wife will
be when you report in October that you're done with your shopping.
You might even get to gloat if she hasn't finished hers yet. You
know you'd love to gloat.
And, here's a little extra
something. Maybe you don't even need to buy her a gift. Really.
Why not make buy her a gift card to her favorite restaurant. Better
yet, make her a whole date night package personalized by you. Set up
a baby sitter, make reservations for dinner and let her pick out the
movie of her choice. A night to eat with both hands, finish a
conversation and not have to wipe all the crumbs off the table
afterward would, I guarantee, bring a smile to her face. And, it
could be anything else she's into. Maybe she's always wanted to go
white water rafting, or zip lining or maybe she really wants to hit
the slopes. Go with what makes her happy and make it happen. A nice
note or handwritten letter will really take it to that extra level.
Also, we know you're not
crafty and that the idea of using a glue gun and sparkle paint makes
you queasy but do you know who would love to get in on that? The
kids. Don't forget about them. When we get gifts from the kiddos
that we know you've helped orchestrate, and especially if it's
something adorable and homemade, well, let's just say, we're putting
down that book. So, take the kids to one of those pottery studios
and let them paint something or take them into the craft store and
have them pick out some beads to make into a funky keychain. They'll
be happy, she'll be happy and you are once again the shining star in
this scenario.
So, that's it. See guys,
aren't you glad you read this? You still have time to listen, pay
attention and get your honey what she really wants. And, if you can
do it early and save a buck or two, well everyone wins, right? Good
luck, go forth and Merry Christmas!!
